Inner Thoughts


Honestly, I am not sure why I am doing this to myself, knowing full well the effects it will have on me.

Disappointment is aplenty in the absence of a response. Every day, it is a continuous push and pull battle inside my brain and my heart where the wound and pain are still raw yet the longing lingers.

Following the disappointment is the wave of nostalgia and what ifs, sending my mood crashing down to the bottom of the Indian Ocean. The thoughts of you and the thoughts of  us consume me whole and I will very likely cry myself to bed again.

Yet, I can’t keep quiet and push it aside any longer. I have been trying to ignore it for almost a week now but I find it absolutely rude not to send a thank you note directly to the person who sent the gift. Perhaps it is part of my upbringing. I don’t want to be seen as someone who lacks courteousness or appears to be ungrateful. And so, the wild chase commences.

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It may not be you, I am aware of it. But by deduction, you’re the most likely candidate so I took my chances.

If it is you indeed, thank you. I am not sure why you are doing that or what you are trying to achieve by doing that but nonetheless, I am thankful and you have my gratitude.

If you are not then, so be it. The person may very well be a part of my friend list and whoever it is would have seen the message I posted.


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