Inner Thoughts

(Broken) Promise

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I love you, I do.
You have my word.
You have all my words.

I used to love you.
You used to have my words.
Not anymore.

I entrusted my heart into your hands.
Choosing to believe your words when you told me you wanted this as much as I did.
I believed every single word of it when you told me we will be fine, that we will make it.
That US is our end game.

Yet you betrayed my trust.
You stomped my heart, left it shattered.
And even then, I still tried to convince myself that we have yet to cross the crossing point.
I refused to believe that this is where we ended.
Not after all the trials and tribulations we went through and overcame.
I still tried to keep us together, no matter how hurt my feelings are.
Cause I loved you.

Not anymore.
It was over the moment you told me this:
You just need to know what you want. Once you’ve figured that out, then your feelings can be sorted out”

Not only was that hurtful, it was offensive.
What was I to you then?
I trusted all your “I love you” with all my heart.
But how real was it?
Fabricated? Made up to fit the situation?

There is still a lot of things I need to learn in my lifetime.
But I know one thing for sure.
Real feelings aren’t like those light switches.
Real feelings can’t be turned on or off as you please.

You broke me.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said.
“It’s okay,” she replied.
“I know what we are – and I know what we are not.”

 

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