Miss Independent

Can’t blame a girl for wanting to be independent, can you?

A lot of interesting conversations happened on Saturday, yesterday was no exception. The project related discussion went off tangent rapidly and soon, I found myself in love related conversation instead.

Yes, you are too independent.”

Honestly, I wasn’t even taken aback anymore. To me, it is an acknowledgement of what I have always known but never addressed openly. Personally, I like being independent; physically, emotionally and financially. You don’t have to deal with the added uncertainty or anxiety of having to depend on someone else. You have control over your life and the freedom to choose what you like or dislike. If I can get the things done by myself, I will do it on my own so as to avoid owing favours to others. I have never liked owing favours, it makes me uncomfortable on several different levels. Firstly, I tend to feel guilty whenever I have to trouble other people. Everyone is busy and asking someone to spare some of their time for me just seems to be inconsiderate. Secondly, it’s the ‘unspoken obligation(s)’. To put it plainly, I really don’t see the point of why I should trouble someone else when I am able to deal with it myself. Plus, I do believe that being independent earns yourself respect from others. People from the opposite sex will treat you as equal because they will see that you are as capable as they are.

It’s the balance of being independent but knowing when to depend on guys too.”

My next question is, where do I draw the line? Men, in general (apology for the generalization), won’t like women who are overly clingy and dependent on them too, will they? I have never been good in defining grey areas, drawing that thin line that separates what is considered acceptable and what is not. It would have been amazing if there’s a self-help book on this matter, it will probably make my life much easier. Hah!

But then, on and all, doesn’t it all boil down to personal preference at the end of the day? Everything in life is normally distributed isn’t it? While some men may prefer women who are less independent, I do believe that some will take pride in independent women. At the end of the day, I still think that there’s nothing wrong in aiming to be an independent woman. Being independent is another important life skill in life.

也许,我只还没找到属于我自己的男人而已。Afterall, I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea right?


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